Misery Loves Company
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Misery Loves Company Sam and Vala friendship – Short one shot. S/J D/V mentioned.


Misery Loves Company

spacegypsy1

Sam and Vala friendship – Short one shot. Sorry, not beta'd.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Why is it always hot or cold?"

Blue eyes blinked open slowly. "Huh?"

"Hot or cold. It's never just pleasant – warm or cool. Every time I get stuck with one of you people, it's either unbearably hot or painfully cold." Vala arranged her hair in an upward sweep, clasping it with an overlarge, glitzy clip.

Coming up on her elbows, Sam smiled. "One of us people? Vala, you're one of us people, too."

"Oh. Yes. Sorry, but really Samantha don't you think it odd?"

"Not in the least." Sam slowly lowered herself back to the sleeping bag on the dirt floor.

Vala placed her hand on the colonel's forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Hot."

"How unfortunate, a fever and stifling heat. Well, not to worry. Cameron and Teal'c will find us."

Sam's fever glazed eyes drifted shut. "Not Daniel?"

"No. Jack was right. He couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. Samantha?"

"Yes?" She spoke with a sigh.

"Stay awake."

"Sleepy."

With a discouraging sigh, Vala fanned herself. "Hmm, well that's nice. But tell me, how does one actually create enough energy to blow up a sun?"

Managing a smile through her dry lips Sam insisted. "The fever's nearly gone. The ankle is better. The scratches and scrapes have healed over. I haven't slept well. I'm not dying so stop trying to keep me awake."

"One never knows."

"That's encouraging."

"Are you in love with Jack?"

Sputtering, Sam once again raised up on her elbows. "Wha...ahm...ah...I need some more water."

"Don't we all." Vala pushed away from the wall and stood.

Snuggling into her sleeping bag Sam giggled lightly. "All is just the two of us."

"I'm off to hunt for water." The distinct sound of a clip snapping into a gun followed.

"Going to shoot it?"

Shaking her head emphatically Vala answered. "This is yours. You know snakes and large rodents. I'll be back."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Back so soon?" Sam was sitting up, waiting.

"Well, it wasn't exactly like I had to go to the Pegasus Galaxy." Setting the canteens down, Vala felt Sam's forehead. "No more fever. That's good."

"So...are you in love with Daniel?"

Handing over a cup of water, Vala fought to keep her hand from trembling. "Of course not! I just enjoy annoying him."

Sipping from the cup, Sam's eyes lifted to her friend. "Sure."

"You needed water. I got you water. You asked a question. I answered your question. And so, Samantha, are you in love with the irritating, irrational general? And funny. I find him quite funny. And not bad looking either."

"Let's just say that I'm as in love with him as you are with Daniel."

Dropping to her knees, Vala sighed deeply. "How very disturbing."

Sam refilled her cup, then reached across and refilled Vala's. "Wine would be nice right about now."

"I found some grape-like fruit out there. Or maybe it's berry-like. I'm really not sure. But you could figure out something to build and we could make some wine."

"I'm not MacGyver!"

"Who?"

"Let's change the subject."

"Why?" Vala moved to sit back against the stone wall of the small cave.

"I thought I'd teach you how to blow up a sun."

"Oh. Hmmm. Actually, I'm crazy in love with him. Which, of course, is a waste of time. I really mucked the whole thing up in the beginning and he'll always see me like that. But I'm not her anymore. Never really was I suppose. Coning people. Stealing. What was her problem anyway? Doesn't really matter, now. He's never going to come round. I'll always be his albatross. Doomed to forever be his friend and teammate. What a horrible life!"

"Jack thinks I'm not interested anymore."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Shut up, it's my turn to speak." Sam turned her head, smiling at Vala and was met with a wide grin.

"Right. Sorry. You were saying? And please don't toss in any theorizations or technical data. I have a monster headache already."

"Theorizations?"

Redoing her falling hairdo, Vala yawned in boredom. "Yes, like theorizing what would happen if the number three went missing altogether out of the primary numbers. You know, zero through nine, except there wasn't a three."

"That would be fun. But back to the issue at hand." Sam pulled her legs up and rested her arms across her knees. "Lately, as you know, I've been really busy catching up on all the data and...theories I've left undone for the past few years."

"Due to intergalactic..." The look on Sam's face had Vala zipping her lips.

"I've been putting him off, not spending anytime with him. I don't see why that's made him so distant. It's not like we haven't spent years separated for long periods of time due to our work." Laying her head on her arms a moment, Sam gathered her thoughts. "So," she continued, looking up at Vala, "we had an argument."

Vala remained quiet, under duress, but her brows rose, her eyes grew large and she bit her lip. When Sam didn't continue, she held her hands out palms towards each other and began to stretch and minimize the space between.

Sam tossed her arms out as far as they would go.

Vala's head dropped into her hands for a brief moment. When she looked up she had to gesture repeatedly for Sam to continue.

"That's it."

"Oh. Boring. At least yours is fixable with some sexy underwear and perfume. I'd have to take over some other woman's body for him to even consider me. I wonder if he likes Dr. Lam? I could sneak up on her and…" Vala stood suddenly, whipping out her handgun like a Wild West gunslinger.

Sam was less than an instant behind her. Using hand signals, they slipped further into the darker recesses of the cave.

Vala pointed to her SGC patch and shook her head. _'Not ours'_

Confirming with a nod, Sam agreed, holding out her hand and miming depressing the 'button' of a radio, she indicated they would have radioed.

Brows shooting upwards Vala pointed to first her lack of utility vest and then to Sam's. Lost in the raging river, they'd apparently both forgotten.

Sam glared, this time pointing to her arm where the transponder chip would be. Vala narrowed her eyes at the mouth of the cave while nodding… '_Right'._

Huffing in disgust, the colonel frowned and pointed around the walls. With a weary roll of her eyes, her comrade mouthed…_naquadah,_ which Sam nodded at, then Vala wiggled her fingers as if to show interference waves. Sam just watched her blankly, one hand coming palm up in total lack of understanding.

A complete series of hand signals followed between them stating: 'Two. I have the first one, you the second'.

With a blow from the butt end of her P-90, Sam hit the assailant where she hoped the throat was, kneed at groin level and then, fingers clasped, slugged the figure on the back of the head. The thud of dead weight was rewarding.

At the same time Vala high kicked at the shadowy head of the other one, which produced a grunt. She followed through with a nice jab under the chin with the heel of her palm. The ghostly shape went backwards, flat out, and didn't produce another sound.

Guns drawn, the women stood over the two.

"Son of a bitch, Carter!"

"Jack?"

"Uh, oh." Vala drew closer to the unmoving form of the other one. "Daniel?"

~END


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